11.25.19
Hello my tiny love –
Before reading this one, please play All I’ve Ever Known by Bahamas. I’ve been listening to it on repeat while writing this and I think it sets a nice mood for the tone of the letter.
Your dad has been so bad at writing these letters to you. I’m a big weenie for it. Life has been consuming. Eating up every minute of every day and using up my brain power. But I’ve been loving on you real good IRL. Singing to you, rubbing on you, loving you, planning a comfortable little life for you. Me and mom are getting ready to welcome you to the world. 34 weeks pregnant today. You’ll be here in a little over a month. Either little baby Avery or little baby Liam. You’ll be so perfect, I know it. And it’s crazy because we can’t wait to meet you, but this is the last month of just me and mom. It’s so amazingly bittersweet because I love your mom so so so so much, and I love every second I spend with her. She’s my soulmate. The person who completes every bit of who I am. I believe we’re a match made in heaven. Her direct love compliments my insecure soul. And my worry goes away when she brushes my hair with her hand. Or when she looks at me, I feel it. You’re going to know exactly what I mean when you read this. Her love is like a drug and I work every day to keep it coming. She’s the backbone and the looks, the laugh and toughness. I’m her proud and happy support system, a role I welcome.
And I mention all of that because we’re building on that foundation, that love, and bringing you into it. We’re saying goodbye to who we are to become who we’re meant to be. Mom and Dad. And we’re just beyond excited. For me, this is who I was always supposed to become. A dad who reflects on life lessons and supports you and challenges you and spoils and loves you. And I hope a tiny piece of that comes through every day. And that when you’re reading this you can feel it. I worry a lot and you might know that. I get it from grandpa. But I just want the best for you. It’s what he and Grandma did for me. I’m proud to pass that onto you. A work ethic, a warmth and a support system.
Dream big my love. Dream and start building. You won’t accomplish your goals in one day, but if you can take a step in the right direction every day – that’s progress. My youth was hampered a bit by apprehension. A fear of failure. Not sure when you’re seeing this, but I want you to fail early and fail often. You’ll learn some good lessons and become comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s funny because this is all an ideal. I’m sure once you’re here, I’ll do ANYTHING to make your life more comfortable or to stop you from failing/hurting in any way. But please know my desire is pure. I want you to find fulfillment, whether that’s through your career, your artistic explorations or your relationships.
This week is Thanksgiving and we’re going to Allison and Ralph’s to celebrate. Then on Friday Grandma and Aunt Lisa will get here and we’ll cook a turkey for them. Sunday is mom’s baby shower; our apartment is about to be a MESS. I’ll be better about writing to you. Makes me feel connected to you, even if it’s only a one-way communication for now. I hope it gives you a sense of who I am and what life is all about.
Fingers crossed we’re able to pick our new car up Friday. Gotta fill you in on mom’s excellent negotiation skills.
Love you big time,
Dad
